I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
