I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
