No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Randomize
