ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
