If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
