It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize