bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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