All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Randomize
