How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Randomize
