is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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