sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
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