I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
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