You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
