First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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