I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
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