There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
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