Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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