He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize