So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
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