Non-Jews are for practice
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
