I think I died a long time ago.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Randomize
