one two three fourrrrnication!
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
