For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Randomize
