My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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