I only kidnapped one of them. chill
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
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