wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Randomize
