Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Randomize
