Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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