Already got asked if we're dating
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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