How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize
