He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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