In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
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