I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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