just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
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