she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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