I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Shame - the story of my life.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
