My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
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