What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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