yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
