kristin has been a bad kristin
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Randomize
