Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Randomize
