Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize
