Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Randomize
