you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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