school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
you have to choose: penises or morals?
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
