I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
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