My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
