dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
