Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Randomize
