That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Randomize