I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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