ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
