nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize