I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
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