I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize