I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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