cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
