The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
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