i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
i just made my gag reflex go away.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
