I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
